The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth

OK so I'm sitting in my room today folding laundry and I'm listening to some itunes and all of a sudden I get this thought that what if , for once, someone just randomly just started to tell the truth about everything. No sugar coating just the plain old truth about everyday things ,better yet, about things no one else will say. I left my job about 3 weeks ago, that is a truth for another day, but I have really had to just dig deep and decide who it is I am and who I want to be.

Nobody every really tells the whole truth. We tell people what we want them to know to make ourselves look good . For example when you run into a friend at the store and they ask how we've been do we tell the whole truth or do we just avoid the whole thing and say "fine". We wear this lie that never leaves and most of the time we are really just telling them the things we wish were true. I wish I was "fine" all the time and everything was great and peachy but when everything sucks we dare not say that because we want others to think we have it together and we are in control of our lives and that really isn't true for any of us . So everyday I will be keeping this blog diary of my day and I promise to be honest and tell the truth no matter what and see what happens. Lets start off with asking myself that very question. "Hi how are you doing ? " Well the truth is I am struggling a little bit. Today I got a letter from my insurance company letting me know that if I want to keep the insurance I had from my job I have to pay $1265.94 by the 19 of December and previously the 19 of November also. They overpaid me for my last check and than took the whole check back. Being that I am retarded when it comes to my hours and what I get and don't get I payed bills and after my husbands deposit and deductions from my automatic withdrawals and checks I already wrote that left me with about $152.00 until this Friday. Next we move on to taking money out of my savings for Christmas. Now believe me we don't need a big Christmas, Christmas was never about getting stuff anyway Christmas is just an excuse for me to give stuff to people because I love it. My kids have insurance my husband and I don't. So no more ADD medicine for me its to expensive and if I want to go to the dentist I'll have to save for it. Now some of you might be asking "well why did you quit your job? That's a good question and the answer is really none of your buisness but I'll tell you anyway. The truth is there was only one thing I wanted to do and I wanted to do it well and I worked hard at it and it just wasn't good enough. My other option was to do something I had already done and I had no desire to go backwards besides I am going to be 40 and I'm to old to work were it sucks. I would have been put in a very bad position. After talking to my husband He expressed to me that he was relieved. When I took this job he was very supportive but during the time I was there our marriage suffered and we were getting further apart. My relationship with my children changed dramatically , I stopped going to church and found myself compromising allot of what I believed because I wanted people to like me and I wanted to be accepted. That income and those benefits were nice but it was costing me way more than it was worth. I don't regret being there I made a few real friends and always looked forward to going to work I love law enforcement but it is very political. Now I am focusing on the future and I don't know what it holds but I am looking forward to finding out. I know how to do poor now its time for me to do happy and thats the truth.