Go Me

Today I did nothing significant or worth mentioning just an ordinary uneventful day. I attempted several times to wrap Christmas presents and make a gift I've been putting off for weeks and once again I have decided to put it off til the last minute so I can panic, turn into a lunatic, stress myself out, and take it out on my family like normal people do. My husband stayed home today with a migraine headache that looked very painful judging by the expression on his face. Now I am about to tell you something that makes me a horrible person because I am sure I am the only woman who feels this way. When I woke up and found my husband sleeping on the sofa I had to take a moment to reflect. See normally any other time I would have poked him and said what are you doing and why aren't you at work. He could have been bleeding to death and I would have said suck it up put a band aid on it and go to work. I don't know where I got this from but I have an idea it comes from my mothers side of the family. There is something about looking at a man relaxing that makes my blood boil because in my mind there is always something to do. So my husband knows this so just to irritate me when we argue or I'm mad about something he will either plop down in front the TV, take his sweet ass time doing everything or he'll just go to sleep and thats when he's feeling brave. When we were first married it took him a while to understand that when I asked him to do something I meant like right then and there. I am not real big on waiting so this tends to present a problem. Also I found out he is not as ambitious as I am because if I want something done I Will find a way to do it. Him not so much. Part of me knows he's not outgoing because he was raised that way. No one in his family ever expected anything out of him, no one had any expectations for him. I expect alot out of him because I know what he is capable of and what he can accomplish I know that sounds like bs but thats my story and I'm stickin to it. But today was a breakthrough because I did NOT respond that way at all . Instead I left him alone medicated him rubbed his head made him some coffee and went about my buisness.Now you may not think thats a big deal but God knows that is a huge step for me. What I am hoping for on this journey is to be able to make the choice to be happy instead of finding reasons to blame people or circumstances as to why I'm not. I believe you have to take the good with the bad I believe you have to maintain your relationship with people and with God whether your eating steak for dinner or peanut and jelly sandwiches. So chalk one up for me ,thats one small step for Lori one giant step towards peace. Like I always say "Its better to have peace than it is to be right" ain't that the truth.