Kevin was a brother in Christ that belonged to my small little Nazarene Church, matter of fact, he was actually the first convert. Kevin had battled various types of cancer and with faith and plenty of prayer it seemed as though he had beaten the odds. Imagine our surprise and disbelief when he had gotten the report that the cancer had spread to his liver and there was nothing they could do.
We continued to believe, we continued to pray, and we continued to hope.
Kevin continued to come to church. He had become yellow in color because of his liver and used a walker to assist him as he had gotten progressively weaker.
Things had gotten to the point were he needed around the clock care. He had no family near by and his 90 year old mother lives in Utah unable to travel. This was not a problem because our little church family was his family and we were happy to care for him.
A week before, I was asked if I could stay with Kevin during the day and I was honored to do so. The first day I sat with Kevin I realized pretty quickly that I would never have another conversation with him. See, this isn't my first time being present at a "Home Going" as I like to call it. I have had the privilege and the honor of caring for my grandparents and my dad . I was present when they went home to be with the Lord. I knew how this story was going to end.
Kevin was becoming wrest less and agitated which means he was just trying to get comfortable. That's pretty much the time hospice starts with the morphine and the anxiety meds. People came and sat with him, nurses came to make sure he was clean and comfortable and friends came to visit and say goodbye.
Kevin's mom would call every day and we would put the phone by his ear so she could speak to him. The most gut wrenching and heartbreaking conversation I will have ever heard was his mother telling her dying son ,whom she could not be with, goodbye.
Kevin had a very good friend Mary, who promised him she would be there with him and take care of him if things took a turn for the worst. Mary most definitely fulfilled that promise and made sure Kevin's dignity was in tact the whole time.
What I mean by that is, she didn't pretend like he wasn't there and she included him in every conversation although he couldn't respond. Mary was aware and made sure we all knew that Kevin was still able to hear. We found old pictures of Kev, as she called him , and talked about good times.
Another one of Kevin's church brothers Clint, found an old guitar of Kevin's and played for him a little bit. I played christian music on the radio and read the bible to him when it was just the two of us. Earlier that day I sang a song to him and told him that if he ever told anybody , I would deny it.
Thursday morning Mary and I decided to give Kevin a spa day. He had been bathed ,clothes changed , given fresh sheets and clean socks. Mary washed all the gel medicine off of his arms and she did his mouth care. I rubbed lotion on his feet, hands, and forehead. I mean, he got the works. We then covered his head with a towel and opened the window a little so he could feel the clean cool air. It was a beautiful day . In the bible it talks about how it was custom for the woman to prepare the bodies of their loved ones for burial. Little did we know that Mary and I were preparing Kevin to go home.
I went home when my relief got there but no more than a few hours later Pastor Dale texted me to let me know Kevin's lungs were wet and he was beginning to rattle. I felt the Holy Spirit was telling me I needed to go over there.
When I arrived Ricky, Pastor Dale, and Mary were standing by his bedside. We encouraged him to go ,we told him it was OK, we said "We love you Kevin. "
After a few long pauses between breaths Kevin took one last deep breath and breathed his last. Just like that he was home.
A million things went through my mind. I was sad because he was gone and I would miss him. I was relieved because he would no longer suffer . To be honest, I was a little envious of what he was about to see. I thought about the "AWE" of that for a moment. I thought to myself just then , as Kevin took his last breath, at that very moment he came face to face with JESUS.
That thought made me excited which may seem inappropriate for some but for believers it should be the "norm". I guess that's what I'm getting at. Watching Kevin die was beautiful.
It was beautiful because I knew where he was going and who was going to be there. When I think of Jesus on the cross I think it is both beautiful and offensive.
I think the way he died was offensive but I think why he died is beautiful.
One of the hospice nurses asked me what was it about Kevin that made so many people want to help him and care for him? That question told me two things.
One : When the church becomes the hands and feet of Jesus and loves one another , people know its not human nature and that it has to be something else. That something else is Jesus.
Two : It is Jesus that we saw in Kevin that made us desire to love and care for him.
They say death is like being born, accept backwards. I don't know how true that is but; if it's anything like being born again, I look forward to my turn.
