A Letter to My Father

To my Father ,
            My name is Lori Feehan Boudreaux and I am your biological daughter. My mother put me up for adoption through Catholic Charities in New Orleans, Louisiana after she gave birth to me at Hotel Dieu Hospital. I don't know alot about you except  that you were from Central America , Hispanic , about 5'6 and I was told you were an "Agricultural Engineer".
God gave me a wonderful Mother, a Dad that I loved more than I could ever express and a family that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world not to mention the best Grandparents ever.
They alone were worth the trade. That being said my life wasn't always easy. Bad things happened to me and I made alot of bad choices. Those choices led me to God when I was 17 and held me to it until I was in my 30's. I have been happily married for 11 years. I have 3 children 2 girls , 1 boy. All of whom participated in saving my life in one way or another.

I am 41 now which would make you about 73. I hope you are alive and well. I pray you have been blessed with more children and grandchildren. I hope you married the love of your life and stayed happy and fulfilled. I guess my purpose for writing this letter to you is just to say what I would say if I ever got the chance to meet you face to face and outside of God answering my prayers this may be as close as I'll ever get.
What I mostly want to say is Thank You! Thank you for your selflessness and your sacrifice. I don't know where your heart was in this but if it was a difficult decision to come to let me assure you it was the right one. Without it I wouldn't be who I am today. Your decision as parents to give me up was the greatest kindness you could have ever shown me.
I pray always that both you and my mother don't live with regret or guilt, as there is nothing to be sorry for. If I could do it over again I wouldn't change a thing.

The dad God gave me was not infallible and certainly not perfect but He was mine and I cherished my relationship with him. He has passed on into a much better life and not a day goes by that I don't think about him. One thing I can assure you of is that he loved me. I didn't have to be anything but Lori for him to be proud of me. You would have liked him , he was fun.
Though he is gone I am not without a father . I have never been without a father . God has never left me nor will He ever He has always taken care of his little girl and will continue to do so.

I would like to conclude by saying to you that I was never angry or bitter even when things were hard. I never questioned your intentions nor have  I ever felt unwanted. If you have gone on to a better place than I pray you have met my father, both of them . If  you are still here I pray God allows the remainder of your days to be happy, blessed and I wish you a very Happy Fathers Day!
                                                                                                                              Love, Lori Lynn

Birds and Buildings

This past week I went to Alabama with a local church group to assist in the tornado relief with the Salvation Army.
I came  home yesterday and had to decide whether or not to continue to serve breakfast even though I had no building. Around midnight I had pretty much decided that no matter what I still needed to show up.
My friend Carla messaged me and said she would help and I'm glad because it would have been rough doing it alone.
We made a trip to Walmart and made breakfast burritos with apple juice and sliced oranges.
Long story short after we fed as many people as we could find, later in the day  I was made aware of a situation that had come about as a result of me feeding people. It was not a positive one and I'll just leave it at that.
I am finding out very quickly that the more you try to be Jesus "FOR REAL" to people the bigger the threat it becomes, to those who may have attempted to start doing it for the right reasons but  have now given into apathy and greed.
Though I expect persecution, trials and tribulation, I am angry and as far as I'm concerned rightfully so.
Did you ever just know that you were called to do something and  everyone wants to get behind you and you feel like you have the support of your peers and community but at times  you try to do everything yourself and make things happen?
You have some success and than all hell breaks loose and suddenly you feel very, very, ALONE. When you can't understand why nobody sees what you see or feels how you feel and doesn't think what you think?
When that happens it is an opportunity to embrace what God has put on YOUR heart and called YOU to do.
It is an opportunity to understand that though He puts people in your life to help, support and assist you , outside of that you need to rely on Him.
Right now I feel like David and the opposition I am facing is Goliath. I know that God is with me and all I am missing is a slingshot and a rock.
While in Alabama I saw a story on the local news about a tornado in Oklahoma, that God used to show me something.
 It was about a tiny bird and her very carefully made delicate little nest that collided with a motorcycle in the midst of the tornado and survived.
 The nest was between the headlight and the turn signal and the motorcycle landed upright both bird , nest,  and bike in tact.
The motorcycle owner made a very keen observation. He said " It was amazing to see something so intricate and delicate survive such a massive force of nature yet a building made of bricks and stone collapse into piles of rocks and pebbles."
What I saw when I looked at the tiny bird and her nest, who laid 4 eggs a few days later, was that which comes from God and belongs to God and is also protected by God , can withstand the toughest of storms. That which is made and created by man and not submitted unto Gods Glory, though it may be a massive structure , built with the finest material and the strongest of stone ,without the covering of God in the midst of a storm, can resort to just a pile of rubble.
Trust Him with your nest, after all He is the one who provided the means to which to build it in the first place. If you give it to Him to hold He will protect it when the storm comes .When He gives it back it won't be empty.

Psalm 61:3 For You have been a shelter for me,A strong tower from the enemy.

Shepherds and Sheep

In the last week my friends Shane and Shay and Joseph had each an unfortunate experience . In short Shane and Shay were refused food and Joseph was asked to leave from church premises while only seeking shelter from the rain. To see what happened you can read their blogs Shane and Shay  http://www.project-5050.com/main/2011/06/02/the-rain/  and Joseph http://joseph2dogs.blogspot.com/2011/05/god-doesnt-answer-prayer-here-this-is.html

I have alot of opinions about how they were treated and how I FEEL about the persons who mistreated them but I would rather focus on the fact that God encouraged the both of them by giving them a promise He made to them in Ezekiel 34. I would like to share it with all of you with the hope that if you are a Shepherd it will cause you to understand in whose name you serve under and that you do answer to the highest authority as to how you treat your flock and you will give an account.

For those of us who are sheep I pray it causes you to understand that your hope and faith cannot be in man but in God your Father because man will ALWAYS fail you, man will ALWAYS disappoint you. Understand that in doing the work of your Father EXPECT to be persecuted , EXPECT to be wronged, EXPECT to be falsely accused as was your Savior but also EXPECT your God to have a plan, EXPECT your God to come through , EXPECT your God to provide. When your are in need of anything expect and know that your deliverer is COMING!

The passage is a little long in this format but I promise it is worth the read. I chose "The Message " version just to be crystal clear.

EZEKIEL 34
God's Message came to me: "Son of man, prophesy against the shepherd-leaders of Israel. Yes, prophesy! Tell those shepherds, 'God, the Master, says: Doom to you shepherds of Israel, feeding your own mouths! Aren't shepherds supposed to feed sheep? You drink the milk, you make clothes from the wool, you roast the lambs, but you don't feed the sheep. You don't build up the weak ones, don't heal the sick, don't doctor the injured, don't go after the strays, don't look for the lost. You bully and badger them. And now they're scattered every which way because there was no shepherd—scattered and easy pickings for wolves and coyotes. Scattered—my sheep!—exposed and vulnerable across mountains and hills. My sheep scattered all over the world, and no one out looking for them!

 ^7-9 "'Therefore, shepherds, listen to the Message of God: As sure as I am the living God—Decree of God, the Master—because my sheep have been turned into mere prey, into easy meals for wolves because you shepherds ignored them and only fed yourselves, listen to what God has to say:

 ¹⁰ "'Watch out! I'm coming down on the shepherds and taking my sheep back. They're fired as shepherds of my sheep. No more shepherds who just feed themselves! I'll rescue my sheep from their greed. They're not going to feed off my sheep any longer!

 ^11-16 "'God, the Master, says: From now on, I myself am the shepherd. I'm going looking for them. As shepherds go after their flocks when they get scattered, I'm going after my sheep. I'll rescue them from all the places they've been scattered to in the storms. I'll bring them back from foreign peoples, gather them from foreign countries, and bring them back to their home country. I'll feed them on the mountains of Israel, along the streams, among their own people. I'll lead them into lush pasture so they can roam the mountain pastures of Israel, graze at leisure, feed in the rich pastures on the mountains of Israel. And I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep. I myself will make sure they get plenty of rest. I'll go after the lost, I'll collect the strays, I'll doctor the injured, I'll build up the weak ones and oversee the strong ones so they're not exploited.

 ^17-19 "'And as for you, my dear flock, I'm stepping in and judging between one sheep and another, between rams and goats. Aren't you satisfied to feed in good pasture without taking over the whole place? Can't you be satisfied to drink from the clear stream without muddying the water with your feet? Why do the rest of my sheep have to make do with grass that's trampled down and water that's been muddied?

 ^20-22 "'Therefore, God, the Master, says: I myself am stepping in and making things right between the plump sheep and the skinny sheep. Because you forced your way with shoulder and rump and butted at all the weaker animals with your horns till you scattered them all over the hills, I'll come in and save my dear flock, no longer let them be pushed around. I'll step in and set things right between one sheep and another.

 ^23-24 "'I'll appoint one shepherd over them all: my servant David. He'll feed them. He'll be their shepherd. And I, God, will be their God. My servant David will be their prince. I, God, have spoken.

 ^25-27 "'I'll make a covenant of peace with them. I'll banish fierce animals from the country so the sheep can live safely in the wilderness and sleep in the forest. I'll make them and everything around my hill a blessing. I'll send down plenty of rain in season—showers of blessing! The trees in the orchards will bear fruit, the ground will produce, they'll feel content and safe on their land, and they'll realize that I am God when I break them out of their slavery and rescue them from their slave masters.

 ^28-29

 ^30-31 "'They'll know, beyond doubting, that I, God, am their God, that I'm with them and that they, the people Israel, are my people. Decree of God, the Master:

    You are my dear flock, the flock of my pasture, my human flock,
   And I am your God.
         Decree of God, the Master.'"

Yeah, I can't follow that but let me just end by saying, Shepherds be good stuarts over your sheep and sheep pray for your Shepherds for they like you, are only human. Spread the love , give the love, in its highest form . His version not yours!

"Sometimes the sheep are right where they need to be and the shepherd is lost" - @joseph2dogs