I love God although I could never love Him more than He loves me. I love Jesus although I could never repay Him for what He's done for me -what he's done for us. I love the Holy Spirit even though I will never be satisfied and always want more of Him. What's wrong with me? The truth is it's a combination of things and I'll be as transparent as I possibly can.
I can't say I'm busy with a family because I have grown children who can take care of themselves. I'm not overwhelmed with ball practice/games and music lessons or dance recitals. I'm not over scheduled or overwhelmed with commitments and appointments. I can't blame it on work because I only work 2 days a week and don't even want to do that. I will say, even though what I do has it's rewards, It has cost me something. Not time but my passion and focus on the bigger picture.
Speaking only for myself, I feel like I have forgotten why I got excited about helping people. I have forgotten my perspective. I started becoming more accustomed to formalities, regulation, reality, and red tape more than I depended on God and the faith to believe Him for the big things. In other words I was conforming to the ways of this particular world where paperwork trumps prayer. I believe Jesus crossed all the T's and dotted all the I's when He died on the cross but that's just me.
I saw a friend of mine today that goes to the church I attend(when I attend). I'm convinced God set me up. He invited me to church not this Sunday but next, because God has a powerful message to share and he's going to deliver it. Now, this is a man that has come through the fire and like all of us, still goes through trials and tribulation. What sets him apart is His love for Jesus.
Now we all say we love Jesus but This man is IN love with Him. The kind of love that comes from someone who has been forgiven much so he loves much. Let's just say I can relate. Just talking about it he was almost in tears and I could see he almost couldn't contain himself. That was my
"AH HA" moment. I recognized Him. The anointing of the Holy Spirit was so evident on this man you couldn't help but notice it was pouring off of him. I told him that God is going to burst forth through him and a four wall building won't be big enough. The world needs Jesus. Lafayette needs Jesus.
I remembered I used to have that. Feel that . Know that. I can remember being so filled I could no longer contain it.
Rule #1.God cannot/will not be contained.
Rule#2. If you ever feel the need to keep Him bottled up because other people "just aren't there yet" remember Rule #1.
I begin to realize how much I miss Him. Like a best friend I was once so close to but became distant, but by choice. I miss our talks and our walks together. I miss how He would speak to me through His word. Let me say this -God didn't stop talking to me, I stopped listening. I believe in miracles and I stopped asking for them. I had great faith and stopped believing for the impossible. I believed in His ways and just accepted the ways of the world.
Chillin with God never meant that I didn't suffer or that things were easy, it just meant I knew He was in my corner when things got hard and He had my back. If there was ever a relationship designed for us to maintain it was the one we have with Jesus. We maintain that relationship with Jesus through the love we show others. Others as in everyone not just those close to us but especially those who we find difficult to love. Then again, is anything we do difficult if we do it through Him?
The world has become a bitter pill to swallow lately and the only thing in it worth saving -is people.
Now more than ever I believe and have faith in Matthew 6:33- "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."
In other words be all about Me and I'll be all about everything else where you're concerned. It doesn't say seek first Facebook, Instagram, television, games, even our families...etc. I mean just pick a God, an idol, because that's what we've let some of these things become. Are these things wrong? Not in moderation but certainly a trap if we don't stay focused on God. In my heart I want Him more than anything but It's up to me to walk in that. I would give up being comfortable if I could move past the fear and that's my goal because I KNOW beyond that I'm going to see God move in a way I've never seen before.
No matter how much I miss Him, I KNOW He misses me more. NOTHING I do is more important than my relationship with Him. Not what He's called me to do, not my job, or even family.
My friend I mentioned earlier, Torrey, God sent Him to me to encourage me and to tell me He misses me. He sent him to me to inspire me and let me know that He has not given up on me. A lot of times we spend time with God because we feel obligated or because that's what church has taught us we're suppose to do. You know why Torrey spends a lot of time studying God's word and praying? Simply put, Torrey Just likes hanging out with Him.
